Consultation With Miso Sushi

A Skit by Ginat Rice

MacroLover:  [Knocking]  Jello, Jello  

Miso Sushi: Who's there?   

ML:  Lettuce.

MS:  Lettuce who?

ML:  Lettuce begin.  How do I do?

MS:  Hmmm.…Your stomach is weak.

ML:  Really!  Gosh, I thought I feel fine.

MS:  And also….spreen - not so good.

ML:  My God, stomach, spleen…I’m soiled.

MS:  And also….kid-e-ney - baad.

ML:  You mean..?

MS:  Yes.  Sex organs.

ML:  Miso!

MS:  Sushi!  Please enjoy. 

ML:  I’m internally grateful!  [Coughs violently.]  This cough is killing me. 

MS:  Take coffin drops!

ML:  What do I have, Miso?

MS:  My diagnosis is Orthodox Nervosa.  In other words, you are one jumpy Yid, an Acidic Jew (twirls side locks and raises hands).

ML:  Wow!  What’s the cause?

MS: Too much fruitful and multiplying. 

ML:  What should I do?

MS:  Jew your food very well.

ML:  But I’m not even chewish.  Can I get a second opinion?

MS:  Yes, you’re Irish too.

ML:  Irish?

MS:  Irish you’d bring nine more students.  Then I’d have the ten scribes.        

ML:  Miso, how are my eyes?

MS:  Something smells between them.

ML:  And my tonsils?

MS:  One says to the other, “The doctor is taking us out tonight!”

ML:  What will my surgeon say?

MS:  “That’s enough out of you!”

ML:  Should I eat anything special?

MS:  Gorilla.  Gorilled seeds and gorilled vegetables. 

ML:  What would happen if I have some chicken?

MS:  You’ll wake up at the quack of dawn.

ML:  If I want to lose some weight, can I have fish?

MS:  Stay away from the scales.

ML:  Ketchup okay? 

MS:  Ketchup with me in another 6 weeks.

ML:  What would happen if I have some rabbit?

MS:  Your nose will be shiny, because the rabbit’s powder puff is on THE END!